Filthy Dirty Laundry by Kailin Gow

Author:Kailin Gow [Gow, Kailin]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Kailin Gow Books
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 10

Kiley starts to put the makeup on me. It feels strange, somehow. Surreal. Like the body she's touching isn't mine at all, like it doesn't even so much as belong to me. My flesh feels like a stranger's. How strange it is, I think. That I am trying to become someone I'm not – for him. Kiley puts my face in her hands, tracing my cheeks with her fingertips. She closes my eyes and smears sparkly glitter eyeshadow on the lids, a darker color for the creases. She highlights with a pale sky blue. I never wear makeup, and the feeling of the slick smooth powder on my skin is uncanny. Like I'm covering myself up. Like I'm hiding beneath this dark chocolate-colored eyeliner and the waves of blue mascara with glitter that Kiley is applying on my lashes. A safe mask, I think. Something that hides who I really am. Who makes me into....I don't know? Someone else? The girl that Philip LaFleur wants to humiliate, wants to degrade, wants to fuck?

What does Philip LaFleur want anyway? I wish I knew. When I first met him he was kind to me, jocular. He seemed to care about me – at least enough to keep checking in on me the whole time I was in the hospital. But maybe he just felt guilty about hitting me with his car. Maybe he was just afraid I'd sue him if he didn't take care of me. I should have sued him, I think. Probably would have given me the money to retire in comfort. But I didn't. I'd been so bamboozled by his wicked smile and his piercing blue eyes that I hadn't even thought about anything. I'd been putty in his hands from the second I met him. I'd let him do anything to me – anything he wanted. I'd let him assign me that crappy dog food story, hadn't I?

With Tegan I would have spoken up – been forceful. Demanded a better assignment. And she would have liked that about me. Respected my spunk. But with Philip I'd been so submissive. And the way he made me call him sir...

I sigh. Is he getting off on this, I wonder? This hot and cold, controlling behavior? Making me come to his place after hours. Insisting that I wear something “seductive?” Part of me is angry. How dare he do this to me! How dare he put me in this position of risking my whole career...just on his whim. Because I know that no matter what happens tonight, he is going to walk away scott-free. No consequences. No nothing. Philip LaFleur isn't going to be the slightest bit affected by whatever happens between us. He'll put another notch onto his bedpost, and then file me away in his category of half-pleasant memories. Stuff he'll fantasize about when he's old and decrepit and can't get it up for young girls anymore. The girls he used to be able to get into bed with just a look, just a word, just a command.

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